Translator: Nox

Chapter 1

1. I Have Something to Say 2021.05.01.

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“Just say one word.”

In the suffocating silence, he opened his mouth.

“That child is my child.”

His heavy voice resonated, making her chest tingle. Jeong-o felt like an inevitable sigh would escape, but she tightly closed her lips. Had he reached a conviction, or did he simply want to believe it? She couldn't read him. Her heart, which always raced for him, now throbbed. She strained her eyes, and her eyelids grew hot.

“Yena is my daughter.”

Jeong-o noticed that his eyes, which were fixed on her, were also trembling slightly. Even his voice was earnest and desperate.

“Say she’s our daughter.”

When she didn't answer, he repeated himself. As if suppressing some emotion deep inside, his Adam's apple bobbed noticeably even in his low voice. It was all the same words. As if there was only one answer. As if she must never deny it. If you just answer, I'll give you everything. The words he didn't say seemed to travel through the air, caressing her heart. I'm the one who's been holding back, so why is your face distorted? Jeong-o stroked his cheek. Her hand had risen without her realizing it. However, his expression didn't improve. No, he seemed even angrier.

“Say it.”

He grabbed the hand that was caressing his cheek and urged her to answer in a louder voice.

“Say it. Please.”

Who had driven this man mad? Who had made him so desperate? Truth or lie, it seemed he no longer cared. She had to open her mouth for him. Her eyes, weighing the gravity of her answer, wandered like a lost child. His desire for her to be entirely his might have led him to make a wrong judgment. It might be a dangerous impulse to throw everything else away just to grasp her. But, in fact, it was also what she desperately wanted. She, who had been twenty-three, was now thirty. A full seven years. She wanted to end this pain now. She wanted to become someone who didn't deceive herself, or her daughter.

“Yes. She’s your child.”

She spoke calmly, but the end of her sentence trailed off. Inevitable emotions burst forth with her voice, blurring everything before her eyes.

“Our… our child.”

She stammered the truth. The truth he wanted.

\\ Lee Jung-oh. 23 years old. Something impossible had happened to her. The hand holding the pregnancy test trembled.

“This can’t be happening?”

Not faint lines, but clear lines as if drawn with a marker. A bright sunny day outside the window. Only inside her house did it feel like a storm was raging. Something that truly couldn't happen.

“It really can’t be happening…”

Tears welled up in her voice.

“This shouldn’t be happening…”

She had only been concerned that ‘that day’ was late. She had only felt slightly nauseous, and it was strange that she was more sleepy. She impulsively bought a test kit at the pharmacy she visited to calm her queasy stomach. Even when she paid at the pharmacy and came out, she thought it was an unnecessary worry. After confirming the result, Jeong-o, who had been groaning in her seat, left the house again. She went to another pharmacy and emptied her wallet to buy three test kits.

‘Please, let the one from before be defective!’

However, her wish was not granted. All the test kits showed the same result. Jeong-o tore at her hair. She wanted to cry. She didn't even know and drank alcohol the day before yesterday!

‘No! Alcohol isn't the problem right now!’

It felt like her inner self was divided into two, arguing back and forth. Calm down. I need to calm down. Jeong-o gently stroked her chest and took a deep breath. They had been dating for 6 months. It was her and him's first relationship. No, honestly, she didn't know. Jeong-o knew less about him than she thought. Jeong Ji-heon. Twenty-six years old. A senior in the Business Administration department at K University. About to graduate and planning to get a job. He hadn't decided which company to go to yet. His father ran a snack factory. That was about all she knew about him. Jeong-o first met Ji-heon one day when she was in Australia on a working holiday, crying in front of a Korean grocery store after going without food for two days. He lent her 20 dollars because she said she couldn't eat because she didn't have money. That led to them contacting each other from time to time, and they met again after returning to Korea. She knew he was a good man, so Jeong-o absolutely trusted him. Even when he was reluctant to talk about his family, she thought he must have his reasons.

“My father doesn’t come home often. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him in 26 years.”

Come to think of it, he had said something like that. That must have been why. After learning that he, too, had a deficiency like herself, Jeong-o stopped asking him about his past in detail. Still, there were no problems in their relationship. Because their relationship was in the present, and they were happy. The past 6 months had been filled with happiness. There was no room for anything else to interfere. He didn't express his feelings in words very often, but otherwise, he was such a good man. Dignified, kind, polite, considerate… All sorts of good descriptions could be attached to him. He was also thorough about contraception. As far as Jeong-o knew.

‘…Wasn’t he?’

She lost confidence. Jeong-o recalled his gaze, which seemed to burn into her, trying to bind her. On days when he approached like that, things inevitably went the way he wanted. Was all his passion safe? Was he perfect?

“Then what is this result, huh!”

She wanted to deny the result. But if she denied the result, it meant there was something else wrong with her body. If it was a problem other than pregnancy, that would be a big deal in itself.

‘Let’s go to the hospital first. I’ll get it checked accurately first and then tell Oppa.’

But, do I have to go alone? I’m scared. If I say I came to check if I’m pregnant when I’m not even married, won’t people look at me strangely? How much is the hospital bill? I’m a student, and I don’t have any money.

“Aaaah… What do I do, really.”

Jeong-o collapsed on the desk. What should I say to Oppa? If I ask him to go to the hospital with me, will he go with me? What if he gets angry and asks how this could happen?

“No, why would he get angry! It’s your fault! It’s Oppa your fault!”

Jeong-o jumped up and pointed her finger at Oppa, who wasn't in front of her, and argued. She hadn't even told him yet, and he hadn't even gotten angry yet. It was her old habit to worry about things that hadn't even happened yet. What should I do from now on? I'm only twenty-three.

“What time is it now. Gasp!”

While she was agonizing, her appointment time was fast approaching. Jeong-o hurriedly grabbed her clothes and left the house again. The appointment time was 5 o'clock. It was an ambiguous distance to take a taxi to the subway station. But she didn't want to run either. She didn't know why, but she felt like she should take care of her body. Still, she walked at a fast pace and reached the subway station at 5:10. She saw Ji-heon standing blankly in front of the station. She could recognize him easily even from a distance. His extraordinary physique, which made her think he might be a model, was subtly attracting the attention of those around him. That's my boyfriend!* Honestly, his appearance, which was so breathtaking, was burdensome. When they held hands on the street, she often felt the stinging eyes of those who were interested. But she didn't feel intimidated, but she sometimes jokingly teased him. That Oppa was prettier than her. And asked if he could be a little less pretty. Then he would answer without changing his expression.

“What are you talking about. You’re much prettier.”

As if comparing himself to her was out of the question. She knew very well that it wasn't just trying to say something nice, but 100% genuine. Jeong-o was worried that he seemed to have a huge crush on her, but she was also happy. It was instinct to want to look pretty to the person you love. Jeong-o's steps slowed down when she spotted Ji-heon. Ji-heon, who spotted Jeong-o, immediately started walking.

“Sorry. Did you wait long?”

Jeong-o said to Ji-heon, who had come up to her. Ji-heon didn't answer Jeong-o's question and quickly unbuttoned his coat.

“Why did you come out like that.”

The coat, which he had taken off without hesitation, was draped over her shoulders. Because of the shock of the pregnancy test, she hadn't thought about wearing warm clothes. Only then did Jeong-o realize that she had come out wearing an early autumn coat. Ji-heon quickly slipped her arms into the sleeves of the coat. His shirt was taut along the contours of his broad shoulders and firm chest.

“I have my own style.”

Jeong-o complained to him, who was making her into a snowman with his clothes. Whether she did or not, Ji-heon finished buttoning it up. Normally, she might have refused more strongly. But today, for some reason, she thought it would be nice to be warm. Wearing a coat that was too big for her, she looked like she had wrapped herself in a blanket. He seemed satisfied with her appearance, and he slightly stretched his lips into a smile.

“What is this.”

“It suits you well.”

It seemed like he was teasing her, but Jeong-o couldn't grumble any more. If he smiled like that with his high school first love visuals, she couldn't say anything. But I have to say it.

“Shall we go eat?”

“Ah, no!”

Jeong-o was slightly embarrassed by Ji-heon's first question and shook her head. She felt like she would feel nauseous again if she saw the food in front of her. It felt even more burdensome after confirming the two lines on the test kit.

“You don’t want to eat?”

“Yeah.”

The smile that had melted her heart disappeared. Ji-heon frowned again and examined her condition. He must have concluded that she wasn't feeling well since she was refusing the food she liked so much. A large hand, as if to cover her entire face, came and gently covered her forehead. Ji-heon immediately changed his plans for her body, which was carrying a slight fever despite the cold wind of early winter.

“Let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

He had decided that she was a patient. Ji-heon's fingers were firmly intertwined between Jeong-o's slender fingers. The two hands that touched each other gradually absorbed each other's temperature. Jeong-o's anxiety was slightly washed away by the cozy feeling of her body and mind being filled with his warmth. The densely packed studio apartment complex. The sun had set by the time they walked home. Ji-heon, who arrived in front of her house, let go of Jeong-o's hand.

“Go in quickly.”

“Come in.”

“No. You look tired. Go and rest quickly.”

“No! I’m not tired at all. I’m full of energy!”

Jeong-o, whose face turned red, denied her physical condition and raised her voice.

“I have something to do, so I have to go home.”

He smiled warmly and made another excuse.

“What is it?”

“Huh? Lee Jung-oh!”

At the moment she asked him the question, a man called out Jeong-o's name from a distance.

“Senior.”

Jeong-o turned her head and spoke to the man. He was a senior from her department who lived in a nearby Studio apartment. Ji-heon also frowned and turned his head. The man, oblivious to Ji-heon standing next to Jeong-o as if he were invisible, ruffled Jeong-o's hair.

“Hey, how can you, as a neighbor, not say a word for almost a month?”

Ji-heon also raised his hand at the man's annoying behavior. Fortunately, the man withdrew his hand before Ji-heon could stop him.

“Are you that busy?”

“Yes. I was a bit busy.”

“Busy on a date?”

The man teased Jeong-o lightly. Jeong-o felt awkward as Ji-heon's eyes narrowed. As Jeong-o curled her lips inward, the man belatedly recognized Ji-heon's murderous gaze and quickly stepped back.

“Have a good date, and let's grab a meal sometime.”

The man gave Ji-heon a quick nod and left. After he left, the air became heavy. Feeling like she needed to explain, Jeong-o cautiously opened her mouth.

“He’s a senior from my department and lives around here.”

“Let’s go up.”

He changed his plans again. Just a moment ago, he said he was just going to leave. Said he had things to do. Jeong-o, who had hoped to talk to him quietly, nodded. But somehow, her steps up the stairs felt heavy. In the tension that the heavy footsteps following her would soon engulf her, Jeong-o moved slowly. Soon, the two reached the third floor. Jeong-o's slender fingers unlocked the door, and in the silence, the front door clicked open. A cozy space of about fourteen square meters. It felt like several storms were brewing in that cozy space today. Inevitably, Ji-heon embraced her from behind. Even though she knew it was a coming storm, Jeong-o let out a soft gasp.

“You’re cold.”

“……”

“I’ll warm you up.”

As he unbuttoned the coat he had put on her again, he whispered softly close to her ear, as if he would bite it off. The breath on her ear soon moved to her neck. As the thick coat he had put on her fell to the floor, he turned Jeong-o around. Her mind became clouded, as if she were captivated by his gaze that seemed to erase all thoughts. As her head moved, his sharp jawline became prominent. The clear shadows created by the dim light were imprinted on her eyes. Her eyes ached. She tried to step back to create some space, but he quickly closed the gap. Her feet slipped, and Jeong-o suddenly sat down on the bed. It seemed she had unintentionally led him to the bed. He, who filled her vision, wore a faint smile as if satisfied and leaned down. A breath with a clear intention flowed calmly into her mouth. It was a gentle pace, but the heat was not so kind. Jeong-o lowered her eyelids as her eyes stung from the burning breath. It was already too much to hold onto her racing heart. Her body, her gaze, her voice, could not escape him. She always fell into him. As if it were natural. What should I do? I still have to say it.

“Wait… a moment.”

She couldn't beat him with strength. Of course, she had never tried to.

“Wait.”

Jeong-o, barely escaping his kiss, spoke again. Her breath, filled with heat, burst out sharply with her small voice. His eyebrows furrowed slightly at the mere attempt to stop him. Her wet lips glistened. His gaze was fixed there. As if telling her to speak quickly. Jeong-o moved her heated lips and slowly spoke.

“I… I have something to say.”

Her heart was pounding for a different reason. What kind of expression will you make now?